Tu mera leader nahi hai !!! That was my tagline in childhood whenever I argued or discussed something with my sisters. Just FYI, I have two elder sisters.
The first one, let’s call her Chechi #1, never believed in leadership, but behaved like a person who knew everything. In her world, she was the ultimate authority. Studies were her weapon, and her brilliance only added fuel to her personality. Humility? She admired it, tried wearing it like a new outfit, but somehow it never fully fit. For me, the youngest of the lot, her favorite line was:
“John, you know nothing. You are the youngest, still have to learn many things!” Lol! And to be fair, she wasn’t entirely wrong. She was hardworking, disciplined, and sharp in her studies, while I was the complete opposite in every sense. She was also very ethical, a person who never lies, never cheats, and never badmouths anyone. But yes, if she felt you needed to hear something, she would tell it to you straight on your face. No filter, no sugar-coating.
Then came Chechi #2, muscles and medals. 100 meters, shot put, relay, you name it. She was a star athlete in school and college, and was even selected for the state level. But Papa didn’t allow her to go out of Mumbai, so that dream never took flight. The funny part? She blindly followed Chechi #1. If I ever opposed #1, I had to face the wrath of #2, and trust me, her hands carried more weight than her words. Still, she was mischievous and fun. Unlike #1, she never wanted to be a leader. With just six years between us, she was approachable. If I needed to share something, she listened and understood, unlike #1, who was nine years older, almost a generation apart.
Games were our battlefield indoors, like Antakshari or Carrom; Chechi #1 ruled. Outdoors, she made sure to pull #2 into her team, playing to her strengths smartly. But if #2 landed on the opposite side, suddenly she became a kacha limbu, and her points wouldn’t count. Funny thing is, #2 never cared. Whether she was pakka or kacha limbu, it made no difference to her. She was happy just being part of the game. Humble to the core. The real clashes were always between me and #1. Not through direct talks of leadership, but by imposing our rules whenever we could. I simply couldn’t bear her dominance. “Tu chhota hai, tujhe kuch nahi maalum,” she’d keep saying, and I’d boil inside. Even today, when the three of us gather, those old sparks resurface, and in my subconscious, I hear a quiet voice “You are not my leader,” And guess what? #2 is still the same. No hunger for power, no desire for importance. Just content being herself.
Looking back, I realize childhood reflects the adults we become. Parents see it before we do. And life? It’s truly beautiful when you have siblings. They’ll cheer for you, but also be your sharpest critics. Both are priceless for growth.
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